A mother of two, a wife of one and a woman in search of a strong cocktail
05/10/13Crazy LoveIn honor of Mother’s Day, I was thinking I should write something sweet and sappy about being a Mother to Son and Daughter and how they fill me with joy and wonder and my love for them is endless and how I couldn’t imagine my life without them and seriously, what did I ever DO on a Saturday before I had kids? And all those things are 100% true. But then last night, Daughter roamed around the house screaming for, um, you know, like two hours about, um, you know, I HAVE NO IDEA and Son was extremely upset about getting knocked out in Sorry even though we’ve played that game together maayybbee 100 times and each time we start with a disclaimer: Warning-you WILL be knocked out in this game and it is NOT a reason to cry. And Husband was out... |
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04/16/13BostonI’m so lucky tiptoe into my Children’s room at night and watch them sleep. I’m so lucky to feel their breath on my face as I lean in for one more silent kiss. I’m so lucky to quietly sneak around their room, turning off their bed lamps, leaving them in a quiet whisper of darkness as they tangle themselves in blankets. I’m so lucky to be awoken each morning by the footsteps of Daughter as she makes her way into our bed to snuggle for a few precious minutes before announcing that, really, Mama...it’s time to wake up. I’m so lucky to be able to get frustrated with my Children. To put them in time outs. To laugh at their jokes. To listen to their extremely detailed stories. They are mine. And... |
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03/08/13Losing My Marbles..When I was a kid and long summer days loomed ahead of my siblings and me, we would stumble downstairs in the morning, the house emptied of parental figures who were off to work, and find a daily note from my mother with a cheery Good Morning followed by our list of To-Do’s for the day that needed to be completed before she got home. Clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, vacuum the floors, dust the furniture, ect ect. This was normal. Expected. It wasn’t just a summer day of life, it was an every day of life. Each night after dinner, we did the dishes. We shoveled the walk of freshly fallen snow at 6 am on more than one occasion. I spent many a spring and summer day with my tape player attached to my shorts listening to Kris Kross while... |
01/23/13Homework sucks. That is all.Homework. The very word sends shivers down my spine. I had heard, oh I had HEARD the tales of torture from friends with Older Children about the endless supply of worksheets, projects and book reports that seemed suspiciously non age-appropriate, but in order to protect my fragile mental state, I chose to block out the very idea of my evenings being spent with a Homework Packet until My Time Came. My Time...it has a come. And, yes, the rumors were correct: it’s unpleasant. And let’s face it, people; I’m only dealing with a six-year old’s KINDERGARTEN homework. Now, I put that in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS for a few reasons: One: The very fact that yes, a child in kindergarten has Homework. Two: The very fact that yes, kindergarten... |
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12/20/12I HATE UNICORNS!I had a dream last night that I woke up on Christmas morning and realized that I hadn’t wrapped any presents. That I didn’t even remember where I hid them. That we were having company over for breakfast and I didn’t make any food. (It should be noted, however, that I did think to my dream self...at least we have champagne!) And then in my panic to keep my kids in their room while I ran around in my pajamas trying to find all the presents and wrap them I remembered that we were going out of town and I hadn’t even packed. Then I woke up. Thank God. I feel inadequate enough while the sun is out, I don’t need to be reminded of this while the moon shines. Nights should be filled with visions of Ben Affleck, not... |
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12/13/12Believe!One of the very best things about being a parent is experiencing life through your young one’s eyes and reliving all the best moments of being a child again. For me, there are no greater examples of this joy than at Christmas time. Yeah yeah yeah...I know...Christmas is stressful. It’s expensive. I never know exactly who I’m supposed to tip and how much I’m supposed to give and, come to think of it, am I supposed to tip my mail carrier because I don’t think I ever have and that lady Does.Not.Like.Me. But...besides Christmas bringing out even more reasons for me to feel inadequate (I mean...have you ever been to a Michaels? People, apparently, like make their own wreaths. And ornaments. And bake things... |
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10/30/12Count Your Blessings...So, in case you didn’t know, I have two Children: Son, who is almost 6 and Daughter, who is 3 and a half. (Going on 13. She’s totally getting her period. I’m sure of it. That would explain so much.) Having two healthy, happy children is a blessing. A huge blessing. Some days I have to remind myself of this as my two little blessings are toying with my mental sanity....and I just repeat to myself...Blessing. Blessing. Blessing. But that being said, they are getting to an age where the light at the end of the tunnel starts to burn your eyes just a teeny tiny little bit. They’re more independent. They can get their own snack. Play by themselves. Brush their own teeth. ... |
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10/24/12Can I get a Volunteer?I may have once or twice mentioned the following facts: 1.) Walking into a room of strangers causes me great discomfort. 2.) This discomfort often causes me to swear while telling inappropriate stories. 3.) Moms scare me. So imagine my level of anxiety as I walked into a room overrun with moms, most of them strangers, all of them appearing waaayyyy more savvy and smart and put together than me. I’m pretty sure the moment I walked into the room, I dropped an F bomb. To myself, of course. Nobody was talking to me. (Because I was hiding in the corner like a scared little kitten.) What was the purpose of this gathering, you may ask? Well, here’s something that if you don’t have kids you may not know: the pressure to volunteer at... |
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09/14/12Kindergarten BluesKindergarten. A milestone event for any child; a not to be missed photo opportunity. A day where parents stand proudly, with tears in their eyes, strapping crisp backpacks on to small backs. Children stand nervously, not quite knowing what is about to hit them. A patient teacher tells you it’s time to leave and 5 year old sweaty hands release their grip and walk bravely into the unknown. Mom and Dad watch, swallowing the lump in their throats, until the door is closed and then slowly shuffle away, hand in hand, marveling at how fast the time goes and secretly fearing the homework packet that will surely take over their lives. Unless you’re My Son. If you’re my Son, you prefer to temporarily go insane and cling yourself to my body, or... |
07/19/12Church CampSummer is in full swing here in Gelato Land and as much as I’d like to lie in the grass and watch the clouds float by, we don’t have any grass and they only thing I can watch here at the beach is the fog rolling in. Again. So after a couple weeks of being blissfully bored and lazy, it was absolutely time to have someone else entertain Offspring. For at least a few hours. Enter: Church Camp. I’m not sure why some of my friends...laughed...when I said my kids were hitting up Church Camp. Granted, Son did one time ask if Jesus and Chuck E. Cheese’s were the same thing. And then, of course, there was the time I attempted to explain the meaning of Christmas to him and he walked away believing Jesus and Santa were brothers, but... |
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Have you heard? Raising kids (and husbands) is hard work. Kids are cute, but kind of a pain in the ass and husbands have a difficult time, you know, closing drawers and loading the dishwasher correctly. Take a break, read my blog, and know that you are not alone. For all your gelato needs, check out 
